I like my meat dark

On my very first post of my grown-up blogging adventure, I will cover a very serious topic. At least, it's very serious to me.

Earlier today, while I was perusing slate.com, I stumbled upon an article that brought to light a fact that disturbed me. Be prepared to have your mind blown.

This surprising article claims that most Americans choose to eat the dry white meat as opposed to the soft, tender, juicy and succulent dark meat. I will always choose a drumstick over a breast.

In fact, so many people buy just the breasts (despite them being a lot more expensive), that chicken companies don't know what to do with the dark meat. So they export it to Russia, which is apparently where I need to be, because they love the dark meat. I will risk the horrible living conditions/high deathrates/ugly accents that abound in that cold country, just so I can have my dark meat.

However, apparently Russia is now banning our supposedly unwanted meat, claiming it's been bathed in ammonia.

So now the chicken people don't know where to send it. They're thinking China, or maybe even using some kind of kitchen magic to turn it into white meat so my silly peers will eat it.

But I have a solution-- instead of ruining a perfectly good thing, they can ship it straight to my mouth. I would be much obliged.

The "all-white" eaters claim that the drumstick looks too animalistic and makes them painfully aware that they are eating a dead creature. Well boo-hoo. That's a little weird, I have never ever looked at Shake-N-Baked leg and seen a cute, beady-eyed hen clucking around the farm.

However, that's probably the picture I'll start to see. Maybe I'll start taking the time to cluck an apology before sinking my teeth into the tasty flesh.