After picking up Izzie, who fell asleep almost instantly in my arms, we go to PetsMart to get her the basics- a bed, a collar, a leash and some toys. I didn't realize how expensive doggies were! It shocked me. But, I had decided it was worth it because the gleam in Anthony's eyes when he looked at the puppy was priceless.
We take her to the apartment and that's where the magnitude of what we did hit home: we weren't allowed to have a dog. We could pay the pet fee of $500 if we wanted to, but we didn't have that. So we decided to keep her a secret. Now, we didn't trust her enough to just let her roam the apartment while we were out, so we put her in the bathroom. She didn't like that. She barked and barked and barked. It was piercingly loud. Anthony concluded that she had separation anxiety, and I agreed, and I hoped she would get over it rather quickly. I don't think she ever will.
I went to work at two, and then Anthony went to work at 3:00, and left Izzie in the bathroom. He came back on his lunch break between 7 and 9 to walk her and whatnot, and she was still barking. When we both finished work (we work at the same station with similar schedules) at 10:30 we went home. She was still barking.
This is when I really started to freak. We couldn't have her barking all night and all day. It wouldn't be fair to the other tenants. I wanted to take her back to the pet store, and that's what Anthony and I decided to do. After we made that decision that night, I cried and cried. It turns out that I must've loved her much more than I thought I did. Perhaps I'm not as hard as I pretend to be.
So we let her sleep in the bed with us, as a final goodbye. Of course, in the morning she peed in it, and it's the only set of sheets we have. But I wasn't mad at her-- she's a puppy and she had tried to wake us to take her out.
Anthony got up, walked and fed her. He started getting dressed to take her back to the pet store. Here's why I wanted to give her up:
-too much barking, we'd get caught.
-too expensive.
-I wouldn't be able to take random weekend trips because I wouldn't be able to take her along or leave her alone (both Anthony and my mom reminded me that I never go on random trips, but you never know).
-She was certainly not potty-trained.
But then, as a last resort, because ultimately I wanted her, I called my mom. After some convincing, she agreed to let Izzie live with her if I couldn't handle her. That was a big relief to me. This way, if we got caught, we could just say that we were pet-sitting and then give her to Mom. Anthony said my underlying issue was the fear of getting caught. That was definitely part of it.
We got her on a Monday, and agreed to give her a test run through Friday, then I would decide if we could keep her.
So after that, we went and got a kennel for her, because we had to do something to curb her barking. I'd always thought kennels were cruel and mean, but apparently dogs like to create dens, so a kennel is a good thing for them.
So, now I'm going to take another break. At this point I've realized that I want to keep her, even though it'll be hard. It's a Tuesday, and I've realized that giving her back after only one day isn't fair to her, anyway.
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